Toxic Positivity

integrate but are incapable of processing at the moment. Instead, it typically leaves us feeling silenced, judged, and misunderstood.

 

Sound familiar?

 

But Isn't Positivity Always a Good Thing?

 

You've probably experienced hundreds of interactions like this. You might be wondering: How can positivity possibly be toxic? That's a pretty strong word. Is it really that bad?

 

Honestly, positivity is such an integral part of our culture that it feels scary to challenge it. As I continue to research and write about positive thinking, I'm constantly worried about coming across as "negative" while discussing this topic. Every time I try to push back against the good vibes only culture, there are inevitably those people who are angry, shocked, and confused. Comments and messages flood my in-box: "How could positivity be toxic?! You've officially lost your mind."

 

I get it. It's a testament to our total devotion to positivity culture. We've been told that it's the key to happiness-and doctors, therapists, and leaders prescribe it regularly. It makes sense that you might question anyone who tells you otherwise. But behind closed doors, my clients, friends, and family have been telling me for years how much they despise the constant pressure to put a positive spin on everything. They're feeling disconnected from their peers who tell them "It'll all be OK" and to "Look on the bright side." They know this isn't working, and they're desperate for another way.

 

So before we get started, let's clear something up: positivity isn't all bad.

 

When used correctly, it's great. Experts agree that positive feelings like gratitude, contentment, optimism, and self-confidence can lengthen our lives and improve our health. Many of these claims are exaggerated, but there is value in positive thinking. People who report having more positive feelings are more likely to have a rich social life, to be more active, and to engage in more h

limits of positive thoughts and gratitude, encouraging us to embrace life's ups and downs, and giving us more realistic and helpful ways to implement positivity. Funny isn't it? Stop chasing happiness and you may end up a little ...happier.
--Caroline Dooner, author of The F*ck It Diet and Tired as F*ck
 
"If you've ever felt like something is wrong with you because you're having a hard time and can't seem to just get over it, this book will help you understand why. Moreover, Toxic Positivity teaches you what to do when witnessing the struggles of others -- it will help you to be a better friend, parent, colleague, or partner when someone you love is having a difficult time. This book is the counterbalance to a world that preaches look on the bright side whenever life gets tough."
--Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT, relationship expert and author of I Want This to Work