Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby (ePub)

When Brad Blemmings meets his blind date at Fifty Something, a retro shake and burger joint, he's not sure what to expect. But the goth beauty Maimah is quite a handful, and then there's the matter of the farting jukebox in the corner...

Approximately 3,100 words.

EXCERPT

She was a little goth around the edges: shoulder-length black hair with a hint of fire streaking through it, wild in some places, but largely well-kept. The black eyeliner was a dead give away, but I'd seen more liberal use before, particularly among Marilyn Manson groupies. A silver band with skulls and spikes adorned her wrist, but they were smallish, unthreatening; like me, I suppose. Decorative only, in a way it projected a hint of class. Her dress was a bit odd: mostly black and frayed around the edges, giving off an erratic vibe but again manageable, perhaps beautiful. The more you gazed into it, the more you lost yourself in its elusive pattern. Her earrings played tricks on me. Each was a quarter moon, slender and silver. Occasionally I'd look up, and one would be slightly larger than the other. A half moon? How could that be? But the crowning achievement was her bright pale porcelain skin which seemed to glow. My beautiful glow worm of a date, wrapped in yesterday's trash. Clearly I was moving up in the world.

"I've never done this before," I admitted.

"What, gone on a date?" She pulled her hair back in a small bun and tied it there, teasing strands falling down beside each cheek.

"Answering a Craigslist ad. Normally I meet people at work, or through friends or family or..."

"But that's not going so well for you these days, is it, Brad?" She raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, gazing at me with her striking green eyes. "Maimah." She held out one hand, then retracted it before I could put mine in hers.

"Nice to meet you, Maimah." I leaned back and smiled. Damn, she was gorgeous. An original, for sure. The more I stared at her, the more I liked what I saw.

"Now be a darling and put a dime in the jukebox, baby." She chewed her gum and winked at me.