Lies and Broken Promises (ePub)

Most of my biographical information can be found in this memoir "Lies and Broken Promises". I did not do very well in grade school, but, later, in my mid-20's, I went on to earn my bachelor's and master's degrees at Montclair State University in Montclair, New Jersey. I earned Summa cum Laude honors with a 3.85 grade point average for my bachelor's degree and 4.00 for my master's degree. At Montclair, I concentrated on experimental psychology even though they did not have that specific degree program. I knew I wanted to get into a Ph.D. program in experimental psychology.

I enrolled in a three year doctoral program in Experimental Psychology at Fordham University. That was a wake-up call for me since I am an atheist and Fordham is a Catholic University. Half the courses are taught by priests. I was also accepted into the Experimental Psychology program at Kentucky State University with a fellowship good for $4,000 for each of 3 years. I turned the fellowship down because I was involved and did not want to end the relationship by moving to Kentucky for three years. I hoped to concentrate on statistics and courses like Physiological and Experimental Psychology. I thought that would make for a good career as a professor and researcher. However, a motorcycle accident ended my career in college. I have no lingering problems from the accident, but after 8 months on pain pills, I could not psych myself up to get back into college work.

When I knew a Ph.D. was not in my future, I looked for work in the computer field which was very rewarding for me. I always wanted to write since way back in grammar school. I never had the time or the attention span to sit down and do any serious writing until a couple of years ago.

My book initially focuses on some of my sexual activities and being molested at a very young age. I was quite promiscuous and my bisexuality got me into a lot of unexpected situations. The later part of the book focuses on many of my drug experiences including selling drugs and serving a three-to-five-year sentence in the New Jersey prison system.

I served 27 months of a 3 to 5 year sentence for possession and sale of drugs. I thought he had my drug addiction problems beaten. I felt that alcohol without drugs would provide me the relief that I needed from my anxiety and depression. I started becoming more and more reliant on alcohol as time passed. My social anxiety was so great that I could not participate in conversations in a group context.

My alcoholic life was a whirlwind of brief sexual encounters and drinking at bars in Greenwich Village. My sexual identity was non-existent. I had no sexual preference of a female over a male or vice-versa. I was just getting started on my academic career as a free man. I had taken my first few college courses in prison and was determined to earn at least a bachelor's degree. In no time at all I was consuming alcohol before every social gathering whether it was at home, at work or on the university campus. I appeared aloof to many acquaintances, but my quiet nature was due to my intense anxiety levels and sporadic depression.

As the years advance and I chronicles the huge impact alcoholism has on my life and my urgent attempts to work towards solutions to my inner turmoil. As my alcoholism progresses, I get closer and closer to losing everything I've worked and strived for. My personal relationships are falling apart. My work on the job is suffering and my relationships with co-workers are becoming stressed. I need a solution and I need it now.