Ego and Homosexuality + The Misconception of the Definition "e;American"e; (ePub)

The homosexual develops his ego in early childhood. If we put aside the family of the homosexual and focus our minds on the society which is surrounding the young feminine homosexual (from ages 6 to 11), we will find in most cases a harsh society of children, regardless if the homosexual lives in an open-minded or closed-minded group, if in a big city or a small town, a society of children is a society of children anywhere in the world, and children, as we know, are honest, real, and do not have the "filters" that adults in most cases have.

Every feminine homosexual will have passed a harsh childhood caused by a society of children who abused him on this or that level. Children, especially when in a group, do not understand the behavior of a male child who is different, or in this case, homosexual, and do not understand the meaning of homosexuality or the definition of homosexuality, at that age.

The society of children can "smell" that something is wrong with the feminine homosexual child (at least to their heterosexual opinion). The homosexual child is not interested in sports like them and does not care for their "heterosexual/male" hobbies and habits. From an early age the feminine homosexual will find himself isolated from most heterosexual males. In some cases he will find more interest in the company of young females (at an age when most male children find girls "too different", "strange", "annoying", and to some degree, "disgusting"), and in extreme cases (which will reflect on his need and use of ego), from the age 16 and throughout his life he will prefer to be alone.

Already disappointed from the society of children that in his young mind will be already developed, even if not by the word itself, to the definition of "society", that is: in the mind of the young homosexual this is a group of people regardless of their age. In most cases, the feminine homosexual, in any place where he might live as a young child, will be the subject of jokes and abuse, which can come in many ways: verbal abuse, physical abuse, and even, in extreme cases, sexual abuse.

One of the three adult feminine homosexuals in New York City who I interviewed for this thesis in 2008 was named Andrew T. He said to me that he could not forget a childhood memory of an event that happened to him when he was 10 years old. Five bullies, as he defined them, from his school, a year older than himself, pushed him into a restroom, locked the door behind them and shoved their penises one after the other into his ears, eyes, and in the end into his mouth, forcing him for the first time in his life to perform oral sex on another male - in this case on five males together. Andrew remembers this case as one of the biggest traumas of his childhood, crying and begging them to stop but they didn't listen to him, while saying "You are a girl, do what girls do". In the end they kicked him in the testicles while one of them said "You don't need them anyhow" and shoved his head into the toilet. Andrew remembers himself as a 10-year old crying hysterically and then running home and not coming back to school for a week, refusing to explain to anyone, not even to his mother, the reason for this. Only years later he spoke about it with a therapist and up till today (he is 37 years old as of 2008), oral sex is a sexual act that he does not like to perform. He will only do it when in a relationship, or when he feels self-hate and wants to abuse himself.