Dirty Work for Doughgod and three more stories (ePub)

Western novelette by W C Tuttle, published in Adventure magazine. Excerpt: '"No, sir," says Mike Pelly. "No more female teachers for Paradise. 'Cause why? 'Cause all the fool punchers fall in love with her and ruin her educational qualities-that's why. We don't no more than get a she teacher, until all the saddle-slickers around here quit working and prevents her from teaching the young idea how to shoot straight." "This here miss, who writes me from Great Falls, orates that she's the goods," states "Doughgod" Smith. "She slings a good hand." "Let her sling it-in Great Falls," says Mike. "As chairman of the Board of Trustees of Paradise, I hereby open and above board objects to anything but a male teacher." "I places my bet with yours," says J. B. Whittaker, owner of the Cross J outfit. "Women has always been the bane of my existence, and in a case like this I opens my mouth like a wolf and openly howls for a man. Lignum vitæ." "E pluribus unum," says Mike, and the session is over. Me and "Chuck" Warner sets there on the saloon steps and listens to those words of wisdom. Chuck wiggles his ears a lot at the decision and watches them adjourn for a drink. "Confounded old coots," says Chuck sad-like. "Only one of them is married, and he ain't got no kids. I don't blame Mike for harboring resentment against the weaker sex-after seeing his wife, but them other two loveless lunatics ain't got no cause to boycott calico for educational purposes. I figured on a woman teacher, Henry."'