Curiously Grounded (ePub)

This book handles a controversial subject: family.

The rituals, the pleasure and pressure a family can bring to you as a member of that specific family, the bonding and bondage, the unwritten rules of older over younger, boy over girl, parent over child.

Your sovereign authority as a human being, getting raised in a team of one, two or more to start off with, will change the power structure in the team, between team members and you as a child in that team.

The struggle begins when the consideration of becoming a parent has not been thought through: the psychological change in role and position, the responsibilities, the devotion to a child that will go through the same growing up sequences as yourself, as a parent.

If you, as a parent, have not dealt with the tension, insecurities and questions within yourself and also between you and your partner, you inadvertently will pass this tension on to the next generation to deal with in their life, as you've got them from your own generations before you.

You, as a child, did not consent to the choice of parents, where they are in their process of dealing with an unexplored self, a range of personalities in and between them.

You did not consent to the name that you were given either but have to drag this name with you.

You deal with all these unexpected irregularities to your authority as a human being and that dealing with gets an extra dimension in pressure when parents force their authority upon you as soon as you become comfortable within yourself as a person, an identity with experiences at the age of 3 and beyond.

The encouragement phase turns quite quickly into the correcting phase where you are told what not to do but not what you can do.

If parents have not gone through the mental stage of being able to play the role model without their inner tension and thought affecting the role, unprocessed tension can really burst into a mentally manipulative role and authority abusive force to a child without even being discussed or corrected by anyone else. Physical force, yes, psychological force is not dealt with so you have to later on in life.

This is your gift from being born into a world that not really sees you, you are not there, not regarded as full when people project: a growing individual that can really do with the help of individuals that have gone through their own mental process of understanding thought and the effects thought has on our behaviour, if they have gone there themselves.

Unfortunately, we all started with the unsolicited impact on being born into a relationship between two people with, considered or not, you as the next in that balanced, slightly balanced or unbalanced team.

With a crowd, there is an audience, with group dynamics and their forces, the change of personality kicks in when three is a crowd and you are the added part, planned or not.

Not pointing fingers here but explaining where your tension in yourself might come from.

It only stops when you stop it.

Enjoy this one.