AIN'T MISBEHAVIN' (CLYDE, #1) (ePub)

Clyde lives in my mind and imagination although there is a real Clyde, made out of metal, sitting on a table next to me.

Originally constructed as a piggy bank, he enjoys a heavy center of gravity, thanks to a load of pennies. (We have frequent wind storms and I didn't want to find him in the next county.) His existence began on a work bench in the garage but he really came to life in a fantasy e-mail I once sent to a friend. Since then, it has burgeoned into forty-some episodes with more in the works.

You'll meet a sparrow named Freddy. He's Clyde's silent partner and best buddy. Freddy, never utters a sound although Clyde swears up and down he'll talk your leg off. Mostly Freddy just stands around in stupid costumes of whatever plot those two birds are cooking up, and takes off at the first sign of trouble. For a creature who never speaks, Freddy manages to talk Clyde into some of the most idiotic schemes ever devised, all of which haven't a prayer of succeeding. You'll hear about Freddy's strange half-brothers, a snake who thinks poodles are fine French cuisine, an alligator who needs floaties to swim, a mallard who thinks he's an aquatic ostrich and a Turkey buzzard with eyes for Clyde. Freddy's sweet but dense little mother does charity work with abandoned eggs. We never meet the kindly lady but we can readily see why her family tree has a few branches that could use pruning. Jump in the middle of the merriment when the boys get together.