23 (ePub)

23: Voices of Adopted Youth

Synopsis

"'Begin at the beginning', the King said, very gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

Beginnings and endings can be confusing for adoptees. There are so many to consider. Where did my life start? Who did it start with? Where are they now? 23: Voices of Adopted Youth is a powerful glimpse of adopted youth's thoughts on how adoption has impacted their lives. Through their own voices, 23 youth share heartfelt and profound stories about relationships with parents and birth parents and how, ultimately, these affect their sense of identity, self-image, relationships with siblings and friends, and expectations of self and others. They acknowledge the uniqueness of adoption and emphasize the importance of knowing who they were born to and their right to explore that option. Despite experiences of confusion, anger, frustration, and sadness, these youth were all grateful to have been adopted into their families.

Lori Rosove has spent the better part of 25 years preparing individuals for the distinctive task of parenting adopted children. The vast majority of the sources she historically used to educate people about adopted children's needs come from professionals, parents, and adult adoptees. Although these sources may be informative, they are based on hearsay, observation, or childhood memories, all of which may suffer distortion. Whereas the authentic youth voice, projecting the emotion and passion of recent life experience, offers a rarely heard yet accurate account of the adoptee experience.

Each chapter in 23: Voices of Adopted Youth authentically displays raw wisdom, insight, and passion through a youthful voice and provides the reader with an enhanced understanding of the adoptee experience, parenting an adopted child, and parenting in general. Although these 23 stories are situated in the adoption experience, they mirror the ultimate human experience of finding identity, feeling love, and having security as a result of the first two. Therefore, this book should appeal to all parents who want a healthy relationship with their child as well as those who facilitate this process.

These youth are direct, candid, and receptive. They believe their voices count regardless of their current place on the illusive path of self-awareness. They value open communication, respect, and love with their parents. Perhaps this is a more urgent time than ever to hear this message as we live in a time of rapidly changing technology that provides parents with constant distraction from hearing their children. Ironically, this is a time that we may be "connecting" more than ever, but not actually communicating. And while technological advancements have occurred, the needs of children have remained the same. They still need to know that their parents understand them, protect them, and love them. By speaking to them and, more importantly, really listening to them, parents may discover what their children need to feel complete.