The Glow

Chapter 1

Hey, badass bitch! Thought you might be interested in the new line of non-toxic, non-flammable, BPA-free toys from Pleasure Class. C-Sweet toys are designed for the adventurous #GirlBoss. They put the OHHHHH in She-E-O. C-Sweet is for all the Nasty Women who work hard, play hard, and c*m hard;)

Sometimes it helped Jane to think of the emails like poems in which she was enacting her own mania, a little more each line.

And just in case you think this is just another basic-bitch vibrator, let me tell you about a couple of my favorite C-Sweet goodies:

BijOoh, a subtle vibrating ring and necklace set that can take you from boardroom to bedroom

1:1, a double-ended dildo that will touch all your bases

The Management, a remote-controlled butt plug for not-so-hostile takeovers

Trust me: These will clit-erally change your life. Can I send you over some samples? And let me know if you re free for some mani/pedi/girl talk action soon!

xxJane


Jane Dorner had never used a butt plug, and manicures made her cuticles bleed.

At first it had been fun, the refining of Public Relations Jane. She was breezy, overly familiar, sexually omnivorous, joylessly joyful, and clever in a nonthreatening way. She was hot, but only with makeup on. She liked her shoulders but hated her arms. She wouldn t steal your boyfriend, but she might f*** his brother and tell you about that dick. She did barre and boot camp, but she was just in it to cancel out the day drinking. She thought women with visible muscles needed to take it down a notch, even though, obviously, you do you!, et cetera. She liked VIP lounges and Champagne-flavored gummi bears and USB drives shaped like baby animals. If your mother died, PR Jane would send you a gift basket a month later one of her clients, UnBereave, was a subscription box service that focused on self-care after tragedy, including lavender bath bombs they d rebranded as bath blooms but she probably wouldn t be able to

Jessie Gaynor’s work has appeared in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, The New Yorker, WSJ Magazine, and elsewhere. She is a senior editor at Literary Hub and she has an MFA in poetry from the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, where she was a Rona Jaffe fellow. Jessie Gaynor lives in Richmond, Virginia with her family.

Wryly funny . . . Jessie Gaynor s fabulous debut novel, The Glow, is a deft sendup of wellness culture that delves a few levels deeper. Punching up at the Goop set is easy; what s harder is empathizing with them. . . . Gaynor understands what makes wellness appealing, and why even the most staunch nonbelievers could find themselves feeling completely satiated by a diet made up mostly of zucchini, kelp and money. The New York Times Book Review

Deliciously satirical . . . You ll never look at wellness PR pitches the same way again once you ve heard Jane s commentary on the entire endeavor. Glamour, The Best Books of 2023

Money, influence, and perfect skin do not always make for good chemistry. Elle

Had me in hysterics! Channler Twyman, Shondaland

Funny and satirical, Gaynor totally nails self-care as a personality type. Grazia

Hilarious and razor sharp about the aspects of the wellness industry that aren t all that well, this satire could kill Eat, Pray, Love on sight. Woo

Gaynor s sharpened blades are out for the wellness industry and its cult-like devotion to personal brands, but The Glow is more than just incisive observation and pitch-perfect satire. CrimeReads

Hilariously deadpan. SHEmazing

[A] razor-sharp satire. The Irish Examiner

. . . my favorite thing about the novel is that it doesn t at all go where you think it s going to go, and instead winds up being much more contemplative and subtle than most of the books to which it will inevitably be compared. Lit Hub

A welcome dose of satire for anyone who s been duped by yoni eggs, vagina scented candles, or those TikTok tarot readers that keep saying the man ignoring your texts is actually in love with you (me, by all three). i-D

Jessie Gaynor s wildly funny, laser-eyed novel is Jane Austen on steroids. It s that sharp, that wicked, that laceratingly true.