The Four Tendencies
The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)
(Sprache: Englisch)
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Are you an Upholder, a Questioner, an Obliger, or a Rebel? From the author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project comes a groundbreaking analysis of personality type that will immediately improve every area of...
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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Are you an Upholder, a Questioner, an Obliger, or a Rebel? From the author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project comes a groundbreaking analysis of personality type that will immediately improve every area of your life (Melissa Urban, co-founder of the Whole30).During her multibook investigation into human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question How do I respond to expectations? we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies:
Upholders meet outer and inner expectations readily. Discipline is my freedom.
Questioners meet inner expectations, but meet outer expectations only if they make sense. If you convince me why, I ll comply.
Obligers (the largest Tendency) meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations therefore, they need outer accountability to meet inner expectations. You can count on me, and I m counting on you to count on me.
Rebels (the smallest group) resist all expectations, outer and inner alike. They do what they choose to do, when they choose to do it, and typically they don t tell themselves what to do. You can t make me, and neither can I.
Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. It s far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.
With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative.
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1The Four Tendencies
The Origin of the Four Tendencies How the Tendencies Weave Throughout Our Characters Why It s Helpful to Identify Our Own Tendency Why It s Helpful to Identify Others Tendencies
I didn t realize it at the time, but when I walked through the door of the Atlantic Grill restaurant one blustery winter afternoon, I was heading to one of the most significant conversations of my life.
As I bit into my cheeseburger and my friend picked at her salad, she made a comment that would occupy my mind for years. In an offhand way, she mentioned, I want to get myself in the habit of running, but I can t, and it really bothers me. Then she added, in a crucial observation, When I was on the high school track team, I never missed track practice, so why can t I go running now?
Why? I echoed.
Well, you know, it s so hard to make time for ourselves.
Hmmm, I said.
We started talking about other things, but even after we d said good-bye, I couldn t stop thinking about our exchange. She was the same person she d been in high school, and she was aiming to do the same activity. She d been able to go running in the past, but not now. Why? Was it her age, her motivation, her family situation, the location, team spirit, or something else?
She assumed that we all have trouble making time for ourselves. But actually I don t have any trouble making time for myself. How were she and I different from each other?
I would spend the next few years trying to answer these questions.
The Origin of the Four Tendencies
They say there are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don t.
I m definitely the first kind. My great interest is human nature, and I constantly search for patterns to identify what we do and why we do it.
I ve spent years studying happiness and habits, and it has become obvious to me that there s no magic, one-size-fits-all answer for
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building a happier, healthier, more productive life. Different strategies work for different people in fact, what works for one person may be the very opposite of what works for someone else. Some people are morning people; some are night people. Some do better when they abstain from a strong temptation; others, when they indulge in moderation. Some people love simplicity; some thrive in abundance.
And not only that. As I pondered my friend s observation about her running habit, I sensed that deep below the night people vs. morning people sorts of differences, there existed some kind of bedrock distinction that shaped people s natures something profound, but also bold and obvious that nevertheless eluded my vision.
To help figure out what I was missing, I posed a number of questions to readers of my website, including: How do you feel about New Year s resolutions? Do you observe traffic regulations why or why not? Would you ever sign up to take a class for fun? As readers responses poured in, I saw that distinct patterns were threaded through the various answers. It was almost weird as though groups of people had agreed to answer from the same script.
For instance, about New Year s resolutions, a subset of people gave virtually identical answers: I ll keep a resolution if it s useful, but I won t start on New Year s Day, because January 1 is an arbitrary date. They all used that word: arbitrary. I was intrigued by this specific word choice, because the arbitrariness of the January 1 date had n
And not only that. As I pondered my friend s observation about her running habit, I sensed that deep below the night people vs. morning people sorts of differences, there existed some kind of bedrock distinction that shaped people s natures something profound, but also bold and obvious that nevertheless eluded my vision.
To help figure out what I was missing, I posed a number of questions to readers of my website, including: How do you feel about New Year s resolutions? Do you observe traffic regulations why or why not? Would you ever sign up to take a class for fun? As readers responses poured in, I saw that distinct patterns were threaded through the various answers. It was almost weird as though groups of people had agreed to answer from the same script.
For instance, about New Year s resolutions, a subset of people gave virtually identical answers: I ll keep a resolution if it s useful, but I won t start on New Year s Day, because January 1 is an arbitrary date. They all used that word: arbitrary. I was intrigued by this specific word choice, because the arbitrariness of the January 1 date had n
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Autoren-Porträt von Gretchen Rubin
Gretchen Rubin is one of today s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. She s the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers Outer Order, Inner Calm; The Four Tendencies; Better Than Before; and The Happiness Project. She has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold more than 3.5 million copies worldwide, in more than thirty languages. On her top-ranking, award-winning podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, she explores happiness and good habits. She is also a CBS News contributor, providing weekly solutions for living a happier life. Gretchen Rubin started her career in law and was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O Connor when she realized that she wanted to be a writer. Raised in Kansas City, she lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters.
Bibliographische Angaben
- Autor: Gretchen Rubin
- 2017, Internationale Ausgabe, 272 Seiten, 10 Abbildungen, Masse: 14,1 x 20,9 cm, Kartoniert (TB), Englisch
- Verlag: Harmony
- ISBN-10: 1524762415
- ISBN-13: 9781524762414
- Erscheinungsdatum: 24.08.2017
Sprache:
Englisch
Pressezitat
The Four Tendencies will immediately improve every area of your life and I say this from personal experience. If you ve been feeling stuck in your relationships, career, health, or self-confidence, understanding your Tendency and how to make it work for you is the game-changer you ve been looking for. Melissa Hartwig (Upholder), author and cocreator of The Whole30
"The path to happiness starts with your personality. In The Four Tendencies, Gretchen Rubin upends the conventional wisdom of one prescription fitting all people and offers readers a tailored path to better health, relationships and well-being. A remarkable read from one of the most practical storytellers on the planet."
Tom Rath (Questioner), author of Are You Fully Charged? and StrengthsFinder 2.0
This Rebel can t help but agree with the crowd: you need to read The Four Tendencies! The online quiz is mega-popular for good reason, but the book will give you unexpected, lasting insights. You'll learn to make better decisions based on what works best for your specific personality profile not what anyone else expects or demands.
Chris Guillebeau (Rebel), author of Side Hustle and host of the podcast Side Hustle School
The Four Tendencies is a remarkably well-crafted and insightful book. Gretchen Rubin taught me why, as a Rebel, my expectations often clash with others expectations and helped me develop a more compassionate view. Better still, The Four Tendencies offers powerful steps that we can all take to have more constructive relationships with the people in our lives.
Robert Sutton (Rebel), Stanford Professor and author of The Asshole Survival Guide: How to Deal with People Who Treat You Like Dirt
The greatest predictor of growth and happiness is actionable self-knowledge. Gretchen Rubin gives you the tools to not only understand yourself and others, but what to do with that knowledge. Insightful, practical and crucial, The Four Tendencies will help you
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overcome the biggest impediments to your happiness and success.
Shawn Achor (Upholder), author of The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness
Gretchen Rubin has discovered a new framework for understanding ourselves and other people. When we know our Tendency, we can manage ourselves more effectively and reach our goals faster and we can help others to do that, as well. As a researcher who has studied habits, addiction, and change for 20 years, I m excited by the simplicity and power of The Four Tendencies as a tool for anyone seeking to make his or her life better. I am implementing this in my clinical programs to help people understand their Tendencies so they can change behaviors such as stress and emotional eating.
Judson Brewer, MD, PhD (Questioner), author of The Craving Mind and associate professor in medicine and psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts Medical School
Gretchen Rubin s groundbreaking Four Tendencies framework is a simple yet powerful tool that helps us better recognize our own nature, harness its strengths, and counteract its weaknesses. With her trademark wit and insight, Gretchen gives us the tools to create the life we want, in a way that s right for us. The surprising thing? Once you know about these four types, you see them everywhere.
Susan David, PhD, (Upholder), cofounder of the Institute of Coaching and author of Emotional Agility
If you want to change anything in your life, you need Gretchen Rubin. Her ideas are original, instinctive and revolutionary. Whether you want to get fitter, work smarter or be tidier, she shows you how to tweak your habits (almost) effortlessly. This Rebel sleeps better, deletes more email, is three stone lighter and forever in her debt.
Viv Groskop (Rebel), journalist and comedian
"I love Gretchen Rubin and she helps me understand both myself and the people around me."
Cathy Rentzenbrink (Obliger), author of The Last Act of Love
Shawn Achor (Upholder), author of The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness
Gretchen Rubin has discovered a new framework for understanding ourselves and other people. When we know our Tendency, we can manage ourselves more effectively and reach our goals faster and we can help others to do that, as well. As a researcher who has studied habits, addiction, and change for 20 years, I m excited by the simplicity and power of The Four Tendencies as a tool for anyone seeking to make his or her life better. I am implementing this in my clinical programs to help people understand their Tendencies so they can change behaviors such as stress and emotional eating.
Judson Brewer, MD, PhD (Questioner), author of The Craving Mind and associate professor in medicine and psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts Medical School
Gretchen Rubin s groundbreaking Four Tendencies framework is a simple yet powerful tool that helps us better recognize our own nature, harness its strengths, and counteract its weaknesses. With her trademark wit and insight, Gretchen gives us the tools to create the life we want, in a way that s right for us. The surprising thing? Once you know about these four types, you see them everywhere.
Susan David, PhD, (Upholder), cofounder of the Institute of Coaching and author of Emotional Agility
If you want to change anything in your life, you need Gretchen Rubin. Her ideas are original, instinctive and revolutionary. Whether you want to get fitter, work smarter or be tidier, she shows you how to tweak your habits (almost) effortlessly. This Rebel sleeps better, deletes more email, is three stone lighter and forever in her debt.
Viv Groskop (Rebel), journalist and comedian
"I love Gretchen Rubin and she helps me understand both myself and the people around me."
Cathy Rentzenbrink (Obliger), author of The Last Act of Love
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