Platonic

Chapter 1
 
How Friendship Transforms Our Lives
 
Connecting with Others Makes Us Ourselves
 
"Some of the widowed sit at home and watch television for the rest of their lives. They may be alive, but they're not really living," seventy-three-year-old Harriet remarks, referencing the members of the grief group she attended after her husband's death. Harriet could have easily faced this same fate if it wasn't for one thing: friendship.
 
Harriet didn't always value friendship. In fact, up until she married Federico at the age of fifty, it wasn't a priority. She was ambitious, working twelve-hour days and traveling enough to eventually meet her goal of visiting every country in the world. To ascend in her career, she moved across the US, chasing jobs-from the Northeast to the Midwest to the West and back to the Northeast again-disposing of friendships along the way.
 
But her ambitions never impeded her search for a spouse. "That was the training of my culture-to live your life to find a husband," she says. She had a string of boyfriends throughout her life, and when those relationships clipped, she would hunt for someone new. She remembered visiting her co-worker Denise's home and envying how she had it all: an impressive job, a husband, beautiful twins. Single at forty, she struggled to accept the reality that she might never have the husband and children she dreamed of. But, without the towering domestic obligations that arose from family life, she filled her hours with work.
 
Harriet admits friendship wasn't all that fulfilling in her younger years because of how she approached it. She was ashamed of her childhood, as she grew up on a farm, dirt poor. During the summers, she worked on neighbors' farms to pay for school. As she rose in her career, and her network increasingly churned with wealthy elites, she never felt like she belonged. Friendship was a place for her to live a double life, to perform the

Dr. Marisa G. Franco holds a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Maryland and works as a professor there currently. She writes for Psychology Today and she has been a featured psychologist in The New York Times, NPR, and Good Morning America. Dr. Franco delivers talks about connection and belonging all over the country to private companies, universities, and non-profit organizations.

"Dr. Marisa G. Franco and Platonic have been invaluable guides on my journey to nurture and deepen my friendships. Her advice is wise, concrete, and effective and my friendships are better for it. Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed, Founder of Together Rising

Dr. Franco s book Platonic is an ode to modern friendship, complete with a practical guide to making and keeping friends. It reminds us of the importance of platonic love in today s society bucking the notion that romantic love trumps everything else in our lives the depth of research Ms. Franco weaves into the book sheds light onto an aspect of our world that like an old and trusted pal it may be too easy to take for granted. Wall Street Journal

"A remarkable examination of the epidemic of loneliness and sound advice for alleviating it...A pleasing mix of research, advice, and humor, this book is a useful tonic to a key social ailment."  Kirkus Reviews (starred)

"A smart and savvy guide on forging friendships This has wisdom to spare.   Publishers Weekly

As a culture we have long been obsessed with romantic love and parent/child love, and yet it will be our friendships that will most determine our health and out happiness. Reading Platonic will not only inspire a shift in your priorities, but will guide you to create the community you crave. Filled with studies, interviews, and real-life stories, Marisa Franco leads us back to what matters most: love in all its forms. If you want to feel genuinely connected, read this book. Shasta Nelson, author of Friendships Don t Just Happen!

There isn t enough conversation around some of the central relationships in our lives: friends! We are craving information about how to make friends, keep friends, and be a better friend and Platonic delivers. I m so impressed with the research and thoughtfulness in this book, and I learned so much about what might have gone wrong in my past friendships and what I want out of my current and future