Know My Name

named summer because:
I was born in June.
Xia is also China s first dynasty. I am the first child.
Xia sounds like sha. Chanel.
The FBI defines rape as any kind of penetration. But in California, rape is narrowly defined as the act of sexual intercourse. For a long time I refrained from calling him a rapist, afraid of being corrected. Legal definitions are important. So is mine. He filled a cavity in my body with his hands. I believe he is not absolved of the title simply because he ran out of time.
The saddest things about these cases, beyond the crimes themselves, are the degrading things the victim begins to believe about her being. My hope is to undo these beliefs. I say her, but whether you are a man, transgender, gender-nonconforming, however you choose to identify and exist in this world, if your life has been touched by sexual violence, I seek to protect you. And to the ones who lifted me, day by day, out of darkness, I hope to say thank you.
 
 

1.  
 
I AM SHY. In elementary school for a play about a safari, everyone else was an animal. I was grass. I ve never asked a question in a large lecture hall. You can find me hidden in the corner of any exercise class. I ll apologize if you bump into me. I ll accept every pamphlet you hand out on the street. I ve always rolled my shopping cart back to its place of ori- gin. If there s no more half-and-half on the counter at the coffee shop, I ll drink my coffee black. If I sleep over, the blankets will look like they ve never been touched.
I ve never thrown my own birthday party. I ll put on three sweaters before I ask you to turn on the heat. I m okay with losing board games.  I stuff my coins haphazardly into my purse to avoid holding up the checkout lin

storyteller...Know her name, know her voice." The New Yorker

Miller provides one of the most moving and humanizing depictions of sexual assault I have ever read Know My Name features the kind of intimate, coming-of-age storytelling that you don t find in a typical story about a crime and its aftermath. She lets us see her in quiet moments and jubilant ones, in moments of doubt and moments of strength In giving us the gift of knowing her, Miller has written a singular testament to the human cost of sexual violence, and a powerful reminder of why we fight.   The Cut

In a world that asks too many survivors to keep their experiences to themselves and shrink their suffering to preserve someone else s potential, Know My Name stands unapologetically large, asking others to reckon with its author s dazzling, undiminishable presence. To read it, in spite of everything, inspires hope. The Guardian

"I'd never read anything that so vividly paints the bewildering maze that a sexually assaulted woman faces...Know My Name raises crucial questions about the way we treat sexual assault and, indeed, sex itself."  Katha Pollitt, The Nation

In its rare honesty and in its small details, Know My Name is both an open wound and a salve, a quiet cry and the loudest scream Know My Name is more than an indictment, though it is a successful and moving one. It is also an outstretched hand, inviting you to fight alongside her. Elle

Miller s memoir is beautifully written, underscored by simmering indignation. Jezebel

Compelling and essential Miller reminds us that our stories are worth telling, that the names and the lives attached to those names matter. SF Chronicle

"Triumphant...Know My Name evokes a woman whose spirit hasn t been broken a study in what it means to strike back, not in revenge, but in reclamation. O Magazine

"A stunning book...beautifully written." Teen Vogue

Unputdownable A much-needed memoir giving voice to those who must be heard. Miller s writing stands apart. Library Journal (starred review)

Miller s new memoir echoes her powerful victim-impact statement It s a beautiful revealing self-portrait. It s funny and it s heartbreaking, and it s an inspiration. There s just no other way to say it: the writing is exquisite. The Daily Beast

"Miller's memoir, Know My Name, gives readers the privilege of knowing her not just as Emiy Doe, but as Chanel Miller the writer, the artist, the survivor, the fighter."  The Wrap

Miller distinguishes herself not only for her resilience and fortitude, but also for her power of expression. She possesses extraordinary gifts as a writer." The National Book Review

Miller makes a powerful case for overhauling a system that retraumatizes victims of sexual violence even in successful cases, perpetuating the feedback loop that discourages victims from coming forward to seek justice. Mother Jones