It Didn't Start with You
How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
(Sprache: Englisch)
"This groundbreaking book offers a compelling understanding of inherited trauma and fresh, powerful tools for relieving its suffering. Mark Wolynn is a wise and trustworthy guide on the journey toward healing." -Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance...
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"This groundbreaking book offers a compelling understanding of inherited trauma and fresh, powerful tools for relieving its suffering. Mark Wolynn is a wise and trustworthy guide on the journey toward healing." -Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True RefugeA groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field
Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains-but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited-that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn't Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.
As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn't Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And
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visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn't Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.
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Chapter 1Traumas Lost and Found
The past is never dead. It's not even past.
-William Faulkner, Requiem for a Nun
A well-documented feature of trauma, one familiar to many, is our inability to articulate what happens to us. Not only do we lose our words, but something happens with our memory as well. During a traumatic incident, our thought processes can become scattered and disorganized in such a way that we no longer recognize the memories as belonging to the original event. Instead, fragments of memory, dispersed as images, body sensations, and words, are stored in our unconscious and can become activated later by anything even remotely reminiscent of the original experience. Once they are triggered, it is as if an invisible rewind button has been pressed, causing us to reenact aspects of the original trauma in our day-to-day lives. Unconsciously, we could find ourselves reacting to certain people, events, or situations in old, familiar ways that echo the past.
Sigmund Freud identified this pattern more than one hundred years ago. Traumatic reenactment, or "repetition compulsion," as Freud called it, is an attempt of the unconscious to replay what's unresolved, so we can "get it right." This unconscious drive to relive past events could be one of the mechanisms at work when families repeat unresolved traumas in future generations.
Freud's contemporary Carl Jung also believed that what remains unconscious does not dissolve but, rather, resurfaces in our lives as fate or fortune. Whatever is not conscious, he said, will be experienced as fate. In other words, we're likely to keep repeating our unconscious patterns until we bring them into the light of awareness. Both Jung and Freud noted that whatever is too difficult to process does not fade away on its own but, rather, is stored in our unconscious.
Freud and Jung each observed how fragments of previously blocked, suppressed, or repressed life experience would show up in the words,
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gestures, and behaviors of their patients. For decades to follow, therapists would see such clues as slips of the tongue, accident patterns, or dream images as messengers shining a light into the unspeakable and unthinkable regions of their clients' lives.
Recent advances in imaging technology have allowed researchers to unravel the brain and bodily functions that "misfire" or break down during overwhelming episodes. Bessel van der Kolk is a Dutch psychiatrist known for his research on posttraumatic stress. He explains that during a trauma, the speech center shuts down, as does the medial prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for experiencing the present moment. He describes the speechless terror of trauma as the experience of being at a loss for words, a common occurrence when brain pathways of remembering are hindered during periods of threat or danger. "When people relive their traumatic experiences," he says, "the frontal lobes become impaired and, as [a] result, they have trouble thinking and speaking. They no longer are capable of communicating to either themselves or to others precisely what's going on."
Still, all is not silent: words, images, and impulses that fragment following a traumatic event reemerge to form a secret language of our suffering we carry with us. Nothing is lost. The pieces have just been rerouted.
Emerging trends in psychotherapy are now beginning to point beyond the traumas of the individual to include traumatic events in the family and social history as a part of the whole picture. Tragedies varying in type and intensity-such as abandonment, suicide, and war, or the early death of a child, parent, or sibling-can send s
Recent advances in imaging technology have allowed researchers to unravel the brain and bodily functions that "misfire" or break down during overwhelming episodes. Bessel van der Kolk is a Dutch psychiatrist known for his research on posttraumatic stress. He explains that during a trauma, the speech center shuts down, as does the medial prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for experiencing the present moment. He describes the speechless terror of trauma as the experience of being at a loss for words, a common occurrence when brain pathways of remembering are hindered during periods of threat or danger. "When people relive their traumatic experiences," he says, "the frontal lobes become impaired and, as [a] result, they have trouble thinking and speaking. They no longer are capable of communicating to either themselves or to others precisely what's going on."
Still, all is not silent: words, images, and impulses that fragment following a traumatic event reemerge to form a secret language of our suffering we carry with us. Nothing is lost. The pieces have just been rerouted.
Emerging trends in psychotherapy are now beginning to point beyond the traumas of the individual to include traumatic events in the family and social history as a part of the whole picture. Tragedies varying in type and intensity-such as abandonment, suicide, and war, or the early death of a child, parent, or sibling-can send s
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Autoren-Porträt von Mark Wolynn
Mark Wolynn
Bibliographische Angaben
- Autor: Mark Wolynn
- 2017, 256 Seiten, Masse: 13,8 x 21,2 cm, Kartoniert (TB), Englisch
- Verlag: Penguin Publishing Group
- ISBN-10: 1101980389
- ISBN-13: 9781101980385
- Erscheinungsdatum: 11.06.2018
Sprache:
Englisch
Pressezitat
One of Oprah Daily s 10 Best Trauma Books of 2023One of Book Riot s 9 Best Healing Books about Trauma for 2023
One of Healthline s 13 Best Mental Health Books of 2022
One of Cosmopolitan s 15 Books About Mental Health That Everyone Should Read
One of Men s Health s 20 Best Mental Health Books to Read in 2022
One of Choosing Therapy s 10 Best PTSD & Trauma Books for 2021
Winner of the 2016 Nautilus Book Award in Psychology
Finalist for the 2016 Books for a Better Life Award
This groundbreaking book offers a compelling understanding of inherited trauma and fresh, powerful tools for relieving its suffering. Mark Wolynn is a wise and trustworthy guide on the journey toward healing.
Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge
Mark Wolynn does a masterful job of illuminating the ways in which our ancestors unresolved suffering, often unknown to us, disables us and binds us painfully to them. He gives us the tools and skills an approach that combines understanding, imaginative dialogues, and compassionate reconnection to free and heal ourselves.
James S. Gordon, MD, author of Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out of Depression
It Didn t Start with You takes us a big step forward, advancing the fields of trauma therapy, mindfulness applications, and human understanding. It is a bold, creative, and compassionate work.
Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness
Mark Wolynn s extraordinary book cracks the secret code of families and proves that you can go home again once you understand how history made you. Full of life-changing stories, powerful insights, and practical tools for personal healing, It Didn't Start With You deserves a place on your bookshelf next to Alice Miller s The Drama of the Gifted Child and Dan Siegel s The Developing Mind. You ll never see your family the same way again.
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Mark Matousek, author of Ethical Wisdom
Bridging both neuroscience and psychodynamic thinking, It Didn t Start with You provides the reader with Mark Wolynn s hard-earned toolbox of do-it-yourself clinical aids and provocative insights.
Jess P. Shatkin, MD, MPH, Vice Chair for Education at NYU Langone Medical Center s Child Study Center and author of Child & Adolescent Mental Health
After reading It Didn t Start with You, I found myself immediately able to apply Mark Wolynn s techniques with my patients and saw incredible results, in a shorter time than with traditional psychotherapeutic techniques. I encourage you to read this book. It s truly cutting edge.
Alexanndra Kreps, MD
Mark Matousek, author of Ethical Wisdom
Bridging both neuroscience and psychodynamic thinking, It Didn t Start with You provides the reader with Mark Wolynn s hard-earned toolbox of do-it-yourself clinical aids and provocative insights.
Jess P. Shatkin, MD, MPH, Vice Chair for Education at NYU Langone Medical Center s Child Study Center and author of Child & Adolescent Mental Health
After reading It Didn t Start with You, I found myself immediately able to apply Mark Wolynn s techniques with my patients and saw incredible results, in a shorter time than with traditional psychotherapeutic techniques. I encourage you to read this book. It s truly cutting edge.
Alexanndra Kreps, MD
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