Hanging Out
The Radical Power of Killing Time
(Sprache: Englisch)
"Hide your phone, stop hustling for a second, and read this passionate argument for the importance of unstructured pre-digital hang." —People
Loneliness is an epidemic; it feels harder than ever to connect with others meaningfully. What can we do...
Loneliness is an epidemic; it feels harder than ever to connect with others meaningfully. What can we do...
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"Hide your phone, stop hustling for a second, and read this passionate argument for the importance of unstructured pre-digital hang." —PeopleLoneliness is an epidemic; it feels harder than ever to connect with others meaningfully. What can we do to remedy this? Sheila Liming has the answer: we need to hang out more.
With the introduction of AI and constant Zoom meetings, our lives have become more fractured, digital and chaotic. Hanging Out: The Radical Power of Killing Time shows us what we have lost to the frenetic pace of digital life and how to get it back.
Combining personal narrative with pungent analyses of books, movies, and TV shows, Sheila Liming shows us how the new social landscape deadens our connections with others — connections that are vital to both self-care and to a vibrant community. Whether drinking with strangers in a distant city or jamming with musician friends in an abandoned Pittsburgh row house, Liming demonstrates that unstructured social time is the key to a freer, happier sense of self.
Hanging Out shows how simple acts of casual connection are the glue that binds us together, and how community is the antidote to the disconnection and isolation that dominates contemporary life.
"The book conceives of hanging out as a way to reclaim time as something other than a raw ingredient to be converted into productivity." —New York Times
“Rich with illuminating stories.” —Slate
"We could all use more of that blissfully unstructured social time, posits Sheila Liming in the well-considered series of arguments found in Hanging Out." —Reader's Digest
"Opens with a simple and expansive account of what hanging out is … Liming dedicates much of the book to stories from her past. She has lived an interesting life, and she tells these stories well.” —Washington Post
"Sharp and vivid writing … a layered exploration of social dynamics that contains some textured literary criticism.” —Bookforum
"More books
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about hanging out, less about productivity please. Sheila Liming sees the gap in our thinking about time, and the true worth in spending it in an unstructured fashion with members of our community.” —LitHub
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Lese-Probe zu „Hanging Out “
IntroductionI was looking at a field of sunflowers. They were dead black, desiccated, their honeycombed faces having been pecked or otherwise stripped of their former multitudes of seeds. They looked stranded to me, caught between the season of their flourishing and the next one, the one that would see them all plowed under.
Nothing gold can stay, I commented with a quick nudge to my partner, Dave, who was beside me in the passenger seat.
We were on our way to Sherry and Virgil s house and taking our chances with detours because we had extra time. A strip of dirt road divided the field of dead sunflowers from Old Crossing and Treaty Park, which is a sort of wayside stopping point along the Red Lake River, in eastern Minnesota. Every time we saw Sherry and Virgil, they would tell us to visit the park and read about the oxcarts that, back in the mid-1800s, used to cross there on their four-hundred-plus-mile journeys from Winnipeg to St. Paul. The spot was one of the only of its kind along the river, shallow and wide enough to allow the oxen to get across. This made it an important place in an otherwise unimportant landscape: nearby Red Lake Falls, the town where Sherry and Virgil lived, had recently been named the worst place to live in America by a Washington Post reporter who used data, apparently, to justify that ranking.
Dave and I had driven over that morning from our home in Grand Forks, which sits about thirty miles west, right where the Minnesota border cozies up to its neighbor, North Dakota. It was Sherry who had invited us, luring us with promises of late-season produce squash and potatoes and pumpkins from the fields that she and Virgil tended together on their land, apples from their trees, late-season raspberries that could still be found clinging to their bushes. We had to stop off on the way to pick up a piece of used furniture, an oak cabinet we had bought off of Craigslist. We had it behind us in the back, swaddled in wool
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blankets that were moth-pocked and no good to us anymore, when we paused at the park and stepped out of the car.
Winter had done its thing already and blanched our surroundings, though it was only October. As we examined the plaques that explained about the oxcarts (and also about the treaty that had forced the Red Lake band of Chippewa to cede the fertile farmlands of Red River Valley to the U.S. government), a few flakes of snow slipped down, let loose from a sky that was as gray as the grass. Across the road, all those charred-looking sunflowers clicked and creaked in the wind.
We didn t stay long; it was too cold. But it gave us a chance to pause and issue some advanced warning to our hosts.
Dave made the call and it was Virgil who answered. We ll be there in about twenty minutes, he said, explaining the part about the stop in Crookston and the oak cabinet.
Twenty minutes? Great! I ll get lunch started.
I could hear Virgil s voice loud and clear through the phone. He had a habit of shouting because, now in his seventies, he was getting to be hard of hearing. Virgil and Sherry always had lunch to offer, no matter what time of day it was, and it was always a good lunch: venison stew, baked squash with wild rice, hot raspberries poured over vanilla ice cream for dessert. Their life on the farm always struck me as being one of plenty, no matter what the guy from The Washington Post had to say about it. They had sheep and alpacas and an old donkey, who was partial to being fed carrots and receiving pets on the nose, plus chickens and cats, and dogs running circles around the chickens and cats. Though my partner and I saw them every day in the halls at the university where we worked, we were always happy to haul out to Minnesota on the weekends to hang out with Sherry and Virgil at their home.
&ldq
Winter had done its thing already and blanched our surroundings, though it was only October. As we examined the plaques that explained about the oxcarts (and also about the treaty that had forced the Red Lake band of Chippewa to cede the fertile farmlands of Red River Valley to the U.S. government), a few flakes of snow slipped down, let loose from a sky that was as gray as the grass. Across the road, all those charred-looking sunflowers clicked and creaked in the wind.
We didn t stay long; it was too cold. But it gave us a chance to pause and issue some advanced warning to our hosts.
Dave made the call and it was Virgil who answered. We ll be there in about twenty minutes, he said, explaining the part about the stop in Crookston and the oak cabinet.
Twenty minutes? Great! I ll get lunch started.
I could hear Virgil s voice loud and clear through the phone. He had a habit of shouting because, now in his seventies, he was getting to be hard of hearing. Virgil and Sherry always had lunch to offer, no matter what time of day it was, and it was always a good lunch: venison stew, baked squash with wild rice, hot raspberries poured over vanilla ice cream for dessert. Their life on the farm always struck me as being one of plenty, no matter what the guy from The Washington Post had to say about it. They had sheep and alpacas and an old donkey, who was partial to being fed carrots and receiving pets on the nose, plus chickens and cats, and dogs running circles around the chickens and cats. Though my partner and I saw them every day in the halls at the university where we worked, we were always happy to haul out to Minnesota on the weekends to hang out with Sherry and Virgil at their home.
&ldq
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Inhaltsverzeichnis zu „Hanging Out “
TABLE OF CONTENTSCh. 1: Parties
Parties constitute, arguably, the preeminent instance of hanging out. But I think our collective contemporary feeling towards them is a bit mixed and complicated, actually. For instance, I once lived in a town where every single party I attended was an homage to a vision of elsewhere—a place where the party hosts had once lived, where they wished they still lived.
Ch. 2: Jamming
I once played in a band that broke up once a year, every year, on March 18th. Our band played traditional Celtic music and the routinized mayhem of St. Patrick’s Day—our annual high point, from a financial perspective, as we once played 22 gigs in a single week—would regularly drive us to the brink of sanity.
Ch. 3: Hanging Out on TV
Reality television presents a curated, fantasy vision of hanging out. For this reason, many of us count on it to keep us company, to provide a simulated social backdrop to our (somewhat socially deprived) daily lives.
Ch. 4: Hanging Out on the Job
As an academic and writer, my yearly professional calendar is organized by conferences in a way that compares to how those of nineteenth-century New York Social Register-style elites were organized by parties and balls. Or, at least, my calendar used to be organized in this way.
Ch. 5: Hanging Out on the Internet
I’d rather have friends on the internet than have none at all. This was my thought back in 2015, when I joined Twitter, the first and only social media platform I’ve ever used. At the time, I had just moved to North Dakota, where I found myself pressed for friends and social outlets. Hanging out on the internet, I want to argue, is far from ideal but it works, in a pinch.
Ch. 6: Hanging Out with Strangers
In some ways, there is no greater test of one’s ability to get along and simply “hang out” than when is required to do so in the company of strangers. Hanging out with friends is supposed to be
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effortless; we know that it’s not always that way, of course, but we tend to greet such occasions with more confidence because we already have some inkling of what to expect from friends. But hanging out with strangers is a different situation entirely.
Ch. 7: Hanging Out Under Duress
There are all sorts of scenarios—many of them compelled by professionalism—that necessitate hanging out. As a result, there are all sorts of instances where hanging out happens not by choice but by fiat. This chapter deals with that other, decidedly less pleasant side of hanging out.
Ch. 8: How to Hang Out
This final chapter furnishes a conclusion in the style of a manifesto. Humans, we are repeatedly told, are social animals; thus, to be human is to hang out. So what happens if we forget how? What happens if the combined forces of neoliberalism and the COVID pandemic make it harder and harder to hang out? How do we fight for our rights to effectively do nothing, to “hang out”?
Ch. 7: Hanging Out Under Duress
There are all sorts of scenarios—many of them compelled by professionalism—that necessitate hanging out. As a result, there are all sorts of instances where hanging out happens not by choice but by fiat. This chapter deals with that other, decidedly less pleasant side of hanging out.
Ch. 8: How to Hang Out
This final chapter furnishes a conclusion in the style of a manifesto. Humans, we are repeatedly told, are social animals; thus, to be human is to hang out. So what happens if we forget how? What happens if the combined forces of neoliberalism and the COVID pandemic make it harder and harder to hang out? How do we fight for our rights to effectively do nothing, to “hang out”?
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Autoren-Porträt von Sheila Liming
Sheila Liming
Bibliographische Angaben
- Autor: Sheila Liming
- 2024, 272 Seiten, Masse: 13,9 x 20,6 cm, Kartoniert (TB), Englisch
- Verlag: Melville House
- ISBN-10: 1685890784
- ISBN-13: 9781685890780
- Erscheinungsdatum: 09.01.2024
Sprache:
Englisch
Pressezitat
A Longreads Best of 2023 'Number 1 Story Picks of the Year'A Reader's Digest Most Anticipated 2023 Read
A Literary Hub Most Anticipated 2023 Read
The Millions Most Anticipated 2023 Read
"The book conceives of hanging out as a way to reclaim time as something other than a raw ingredient to be converted into productivity." The New York Times
"Hide your phone, stop hustling for a second, and read this passionate argument for the importance of unstructured pre-digital hang." People Magazine
"Hanging Out is rich with illuminating stories...I passionately believ[ed] that her book was right." Slate, Dan Kois
"[Hanging Out] is exploring this downstream consequence of isolation, of loneliness, of atomization, which I think is pretty underexplored..." Ezra Klein
"We could all use more of that blissfully unstructured social time, posits Sheila Liming in the well-considered series of arguments found in Hanging Out." Reader's Digest
"[Hanging Out] opens with a simple and expansive account of what hanging out is...Liming dedicates much of the book to stories from her past. She has lived an interesting life, and she tells these stories well..." Washington Post
"Sharp and vivid writing...her [Limings] chapter on parties is so richly drawn. It s a layered exploration of social dynamics and contains some textured literary criticism..." Bookforum
"More books about hanging out, less about productivity please. Sheila Liming sees the gap in our thinking about time, and the true worth in spending it in an unstructured fashion with members of our community..." Literary Hub
"[Hanging Out] encourages readers to do more of it in real life...Liming s observational and storytelling skills shine." Publishers Weekly
"From sharing a cuppa to lazing in the park, is the key to happiness doing everyday activities
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with pals?... Liming proposes hanging out as a balm that forges connection and meaning." The Guardian UK
"A thoughtful manifesto...Liming is unsurprisingly the most compelling when she incorporates literary criticism into her treatise." BookPage
"Tightly argued, brilliantly written...smart yet so accessible, Hanging Out will impress readers with the way each idea builds on the next, never forced and always human." Shelf Awareness
"Readers will gain a new appreciation for their next get-together after reading this fascinating book and taking the author's well-written words to heart" Booklist
"[A] meditation on the value of spending idle time with friends, family, and strangers." Kirkus Reviews
"Informed by her own experiences and anecdotes chiefly from moving across the United States during the pandemic Liming also brings a rich knowledge of pop culture and intellectual history to persuasive arguments about the importance of spending casual and unproductive time with other people." -- Zoomer Magazine
"Like me, you will thoroughly enjoy hanging out with this book. Jam-packed with eloquent and authentic testimony, it delivers many fresh insights on experiences that we might otherwise take for granted." Andrew Ross, author of Nice Work If You Can Get It: Life and Labor in Precarious Times
"A thoughtful manifesto...Liming is unsurprisingly the most compelling when she incorporates literary criticism into her treatise." BookPage
"Tightly argued, brilliantly written...smart yet so accessible, Hanging Out will impress readers with the way each idea builds on the next, never forced and always human." Shelf Awareness
"Readers will gain a new appreciation for their next get-together after reading this fascinating book and taking the author's well-written words to heart" Booklist
"[A] meditation on the value of spending idle time with friends, family, and strangers." Kirkus Reviews
"Informed by her own experiences and anecdotes chiefly from moving across the United States during the pandemic Liming also brings a rich knowledge of pop culture and intellectual history to persuasive arguments about the importance of spending casual and unproductive time with other people." -- Zoomer Magazine
"Like me, you will thoroughly enjoy hanging out with this book. Jam-packed with eloquent and authentic testimony, it delivers many fresh insights on experiences that we might otherwise take for granted." Andrew Ross, author of Nice Work If You Can Get It: Life and Labor in Precarious Times
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