Before the Ever After

hero.
 
And now I m thinking back to those times
when the cold wind whipped around me and Mom 
as we sat wrapped in blankets, yelling Dad s name, 
so close to the game, we could see the angry spit 
spraying from the other team s coach s lips.
So close, we could see the sweat on my daddy s neck.

And all the people around us cheering,
all the people going around calling out his number, 
calling out his name.
 
Zachariah 44! Zachariah 44!
 
Is your daddy your hero? the newscaster had asked me.
 
And all these years later, just like that day, I know 
he s not my hero,
he s my dad, which means 
he s my every single thing.


Day after the Game  
 
Day after the game
and Daddy gets out of bed slow. 
His whole body, he says,
is 223 pounds of pain
from toes to knees, from knees to ribs, 
every single hit he took yesterday 
remembered in the morning.


Before the Ever After  
 
Before the ever after, there was Daddy driving 
to Village Ice Cream
on a Saturday night in July before preseason training.
 
Before the ever after, there was Mom in the back seat 
letting me ride up front, me and Daddy
having Man Time together 
waving to everyone
who pointed at our car and said That s him!
 
Before the ever after, the way people said
That

Woodson explores the impact of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) on football players and their families from the perspective of ZJ, son of tight end Zachariah 44 Johnson. . . . In lyrical verse, Woodson conveys the confusion and loss that many families feel as they try to figure out what is wrong with their loved one. Each of the poems ably captures the voice of the story s preteen boy protagonist; readers can feel the sense of love and loss that ZJ is experiencing as his dad slips away. Even though that loss is difficult, Woodson reminds readers that life s challenges are more easily faced with the support of friends and family. Horn Book, starred review

* A beautiful and heart-wrenching story. . . . Eloquent prose poetry creates a moving narrative that reveals the grief of a child trying to understand why his father has changed and why nothing can be done. An ardent account of the multitudes of losses experienced by those who suffer from chronic traumatic encephalopathy and its effects on their families, ZJ's doleful tale unveils the intense nostalgia and hope one can feel despite realizing that sometimes what is lost can never be regained." Publishers Weekly, starred review 

This is a heartbreaking tale brimming with sympathy, and it draws much of its impact from the characterization of Zachariah s father; while the portrait is obviously burnished by ZJ s hero worship, it s also clear that Zachariah Senior is a man of deep kindness and generosity who loves his son greatly, and whose decline leaves a huge hole in his fiercely close African-American family. ZJ s move toward music and his increasing reliance on his friends are age-appropriate shifts that have particular poignance given the situation. While the football and CTE elements give this resonance for young athletes, many readers will be sadly familiar with the painful waning of a family member, and they ll be heartened by ZJ s love and resilience. The Bulletin of the Center for Children s Books