You'd Be Home Now

1 

My sister, Maddie, is crying, her pretty face damp and frightened. One of my legs is heavier than the other and I don t understand and I want to ask her why, but I can t form words, because there s an ocean inside me, warm and sweet, and I m bobbing along the waves, just like the ones that carried me and Joey all those years ago in San Diego, when everything was perfect or as close to it as we could get. That was a nice time, when I was twelve and Joey was thirteen, letting the waves carry us, Maddie stretched out on the beach in her purple bikini and floppy-brimmed hat. Far away from Mill Haven, we were in a different world, where no one knew who we were.

I try to ask Maddie where Joey is, but she can t understand me. She thinks I m saying something else, because she leans forward and says, Do you need more? Do you need me to press the button?

And her finger presses a button on the side of the bed and the largest wave I ve ever known billows over me, like the parachute game we played in the gymnasium in kindergarten, all of us laughing as the fabric gently overtook us and blocked out the world.

My mother s voice is trembling. This is not normal. This is not something that happens to people like us.

My father sounds weary. He has been weary for years now. Joey makes people weary. 

He says, There is no normal, Abigail. Nothing has ever been normal. Why can t you see that? He has a problem.  

My finger stretches out for the button to make the waves come again. My parents make me tired, years and years of fighting about Joey. 

My mother s hand touches my head. Like a kitten, I respond, leaning into it. I can t remember the last time she touched me, stroked my hair. Everything has always been about Joey. 

There was heroin in his system, Abigail. How did we miss that?  

The word floats in the air before me, something eerie and

Kathleen Glasgow

Impossibly moving. Vanity Fair

Necessary, important, honest, loving, and true. Kirkus Reviews, starred review

The narrative presents a nuanced look at a family trying to keep their loved ones safe and the toll that addiction takes on all of its members A heartbreaking yet important story. SLJ, starred review

"...compassionately illustrates the profound power of love...[a] remarkable and engrossing novel of life s balance and imbalance between struggle and joy." Booklist, starred review

As beautiful as it is raw an unflinching tale of addiction. Amy Beashel, author of The Sky Is Mine
 
Raw, honest, and over-flowing with feelings unlike anything I ve ever experienced on the page. Erin Hahn, author of You d Be Mine and More Than Maybe
 
In her gripping tale of an addict-adjacent teen and the fragile ecosystem she inhabits, Kathleen Glasgow expands our hearts and invites in a little more humanity. Val Emmich, New York Times bestselling author of Dear Evan Hansen: The Novel  

Renders the invisible faces of addiction with rare humanity. Amber Smith, New York Times bestselling author of The Way I Used to Be

Nails what it s like to love someone with an addiction and humanizes the struggle of a teenage drug addict. Hayley Krischer, author of Something Happened to Ali Greenleaf

An evocative, soaring exploration of family, friendship, and the many lives that encompass a small town. Laurie Elizabeth Flynn, author of The Girls Are All So Nice Here